The Long and Short of It

Long Sentence Exercise

It all began about a year ago when I was walking home from school and saw something that changed my life my actual life and a how I thought about things and this the kind of thing that affects the core and soul of the person which results in her feeling as though she is walking on a tightrope because nothing is the same requiring a recreation of self that follows new paths and leaves her out of balance which is not unlike trying to balance herself as if on a tight rope, and this is what happened to me, well you could say that it happened to my entire family on that day I came home to see my house engulfed in a fire which resulted in it crumpling in a collapse where everything and everybody was lost, my mother, my father, my big brothers, my little sister,s and my twin sister, and I was suddenly alone in the world with no parents no brothers and sisters and the devastating loss of my twin sister with whom I shared everything my bedroom my clothes my most private thoughts my friends my interests and in fact my feelings of safety and well being that I had always had and were torn from me on that fateful day as I watched the firemen pour water over the house for more than two hours attempting to kill the fire where my family was entombed family dead inside an inferno with such high heat that the firemen were not able to even enter and bring out their bodies, and I was left alone in the world filled with pain and loss that I could not even process in my mind or even talk about for six months when finally the smoke remaining in my brain began to dissipate, and I could try to figure out my life the life that had had no history in my childhood experience prior to the fire and the saddest part of the six month delay is that the pain was less upsetting and cruel during the smoky months but now seems to be ripping me apart. Yes, it is tearing me apart. Will I ever recover?

Short  Sentences of Six Words

A year ago I was walking home from school. I am usually with my twin sister. She is a kindred soul as well. Bree stayed home that day. She had a cold and fever. These were the last words to Bree.

“You lucky duck! Wish I could stay home today. It’s our lovely gym class day. “That is my least favorite class. I would be thrilled to miss it.” Bree just laughed at me.

“Well I guess I’m more lucky. Have a good day, Ari.” 

That day I walked home alone. I turned the corner and gasped. I saw something that changed my life. It changed my life forever. It changed my thoughts forever. My thoughts wee never the same. My house was engulfed in fire. The fire consumed my entire family. Lost parents. five siblings including Bree. How could I survive her loss? I have felt I’m completely unbalanced. Like I’m walking on a tightrope. I keep imagining me falling off.  I visualize falling off all the  time. Still I do not get hurt. I’m not hurt physically at least.

For six months I was in smoke. I could not get past it. The smoky haze finally blew away. The torment began to get worse. Remembering clearly brought a heightened anguish. I remembered my Bree’s fateful words.

“Well I guess I’m more lucky.”

“Lucky? Shit!”