The wedding this…the
wedding that…
the wedding…wedding…wedding!
That seemed to be all Hermione talked about from one day to
the next…from one hour to the next…from one minute to the next. She was so excited that at first her
enthusiasm had been catchy. The problem was that Hermione and Simon had gotten
engaged a full two and a half years before the magic day was to happen. That is
a long time to be planning a wedding…a very lengthy time. It is also a long
time to be watching the planning of a wedding.
In spite of everyone’s need to be long suffering, we all did
find her to be quite cute about it, actually. Finding a dress, a task that
usually takes, at the most, two or three trips to bridal shops, took almost a
year and at least ten visits to local, and not so local, stores. Sales girls
would recognize her by name she had been in so many times. I think that they probably started drawing
straws whenever Hermione made an appointment to come in so that the same clerk
did not get stuck with the job of pulling out and putting back twenty-five
pound gowns ad infinitum. Thankfully, Hermione did draw a line on going
national with her search, and Simon, benevolent Simon, just smiled and gave her
room to enjoy her all consuming job of being a bride.
Finally, the perfect dress was located and purchased. There is a new custom around all of this that
needs to be mentioned. A bride does not
go shopping alone with her mother and perhaps her honor attendant. Brides these days bring an entourage whose
role is to be an audience during the fashion show. This can be a bit
disconcerting because there are as many opinions as there are people in
attendance. I had thought that a bride
needed to be self assured, but I soon saw that this was not the case. It almost felt like a committee decision on
each dress that was tried on and modeled. At least, thank heaven, they did not
resort to a lottery. In the end,
Hermione and her team did more than just settle for a dress. Ah yes, she would
certainly be a gorgeous bride. Her executive board members were all in
agreement on this. I managed to only attend two of these sessions, and I missed
the fitting appointment entirely.
Concurrent with selecting THE GOWN was the decision about the
bridesmaids’ attire. What style and what
color would they wear? If you think that the bride’s search for and selection
of a gown was a difficult task, you should have seen the melee as six girls of
varied bodies and tastes tried to agree on a gown. Hermione did put her foot down about the
color. It was to be navy. The attendants all looked surprised, since
the wedding was to be a spring wedding.
No matter though, even girls of larger girth would look more svelte in
such a dark color. Still there were problems.
One of the bridesmaids would be eight months pregnant at the time of the
wedding. The other consideration was that the matron of honor, a woman unhappy
with her arms, out and out refused to wear anything sleeveless. The remedy for
this was to purchase fabric…navy blue of course…and to have a dress tailored
for her. Finally, the bridesmaid dresses hurdle had been jumped and overcome. I
am quite sure they will all look lovely.
I have not had the heart to ask about the flower variety and colors.
Hopefully they will not be navy blue.
There is one more interesting thing about the dresses for
this wedding. In her dream of
perfection, Hermione had also been adamant that her mother, Charlotte, and
mother-in-law, Patrice, be dressed in identical dresses. They also were to be
navy blue. Not a surprise! For some reason the color choice will happen but not
the twinning. Simon’s mother did not
throw an obvious monkey wrench into this plan.
Her behavior was actually more on the passive aggressive side. Whenever Hermione tried to get her two “moms”
together, Patrice was too busy to drive down from Vacaville to join in the
search. Hermione had to give up on the
part of the dream that would have moms in matching gowns. Charlotte bought a two piece dress off the
sales rack. It had a beaded top and a
skirt which was priced separately. If you bought one, the other was free. I
have not seen Patrice’s choice, but I am sure it will be lovely…and navy.
Hermione posted on Facebook this past weekend that she had acquired
her wedding shoes. Facebook is such a wonderful tool to keep everyone you know
abreast of everything you do. Her post
gushed with the news that they are soft and comfy. I remembered Charlotte’s wedding ten years
ago when she, much to my dismay, decided to wear red converse shoes under her
very frilly gown. She ended up reacting
to my fuss about it with, “It is MY wedding, and I will do as I please. End of
story!” I asked Hermione if she had
gotten tennis shoes, and she laughed and said, “I am not my mom.” True that. I did not ask for details; I left
it at that, but I am thinking that the word comfy would mean that six-foot
Hermione most probably will not be wearing high heels. That leaves me to my own imagination as to
whether she has bought ballet shoes or perhaps even slippers
.
Are you wondering who I am and what my role in this is. Charlotte is my closest friend. We are not
actually related. However, I have been
around since Hermione was a little girl. I was part of the sending off party
for her first prom. I drove her around when her mom was unavailable to don a
chauffer’s cap. I have rallied around
the family doing such tasks as helping Hermione with her homework, assisting
Charlotte with birthday parties, and just being there whenever I was
needed. Because of this involvement in
Hermione’s life, I am to be the honorary grandmother at her wedding. My dress is at the ready, hanging in my
closet. It is a beautiful floor length dress with a jacket. Although I said I
would not do it I it bought way in advance. When you find the perfect dress it
demands action. Need I tell you the color of the dress? I am very touched by
this respect that has been given to me.
My other functions for this wedding are many and varied. I have
a very cursory ability to do calligraphy.
Because of this, I already addressed the invitations for Hermione’s
sister’s wedding last winter. I was
almost ashamed to self proclaim that I addressed those invitations; they were
really so minimal. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I guess
this is true, and to someone who cannot do any calligraphy even a token
rendition might look great. The other
responsibility that I have will be to open my home on two occasions to be use for
wedding related activities. The first
will be to have a Bridal Shower in a couple of weeks. I am not the actual hostess for this;
Hermione’s sister will be fulfilling that role.
My house is big, but I worry a bit about the forty plus people who are
invited. The second happening will be to
have the rehearsal dinner here on the night before the wedding. Hermione in one
of her “I’m getting married”, rants told me that the rehearsal dinner these
days is like a family reunion, so who knows how many people we are
expecting. When I think about it I
should be an honorary parent. This would be more fitting under the
circumstances.
Still it is all good and has started me reminiscing about my
own daughter’s wedding in 2003. Leah was basically was in charge, and that was
fine with me. She was living on the frozen tundra…that would be Minnesota…at
the time, but the wedding was to be in Santa Cruz. I don’t remember her talking
incessantly about the wedding…the wedding…the wedding, but that could be
because she lived so far away. Now that
I think about it, I probably missed out on some of the fun because she was not
living closer.
One happening stands out in my mind about Leah’s
wedding. In a way, this relates to the
choice of shoes for a wedding. I believe
that things happen for a reason. My
altercation with Charlotte over the red converse tennis shoes is one of such
phenomenon. I cut my teeth on that one, so to speak, and I was forced to get
over it and to get over myself. My hubby
and I were on our way down to Santa Cruz on the day before the wedding. I was happy as a lark that it soon would be
the day and all my self-imposed worries
would be over. In retrospect, I compare it to the ninth month of pregnancy when
the mom to be is so sick of thinking baby…baby…baby. I am sure you get the comparison. My cell
phone rang, and it was Leah. “Mom, I have something to tell you,” she said,
sounding very worried. My heart dropped. I had visions of $25,000 going down
the drain of a cancelled wedding.
I held my breath, waiting for her to continue. She went on to
tell me that when the groomsmen went to pick up tuxedos and shoes there had
been a problem. Two of the boys did not
have shoes, and one had a pair of shoes set aside for him that were too small
for anyone but a ring bearer to fit into.
We had no ring bearer. Her loving
groom had gotten annoyed, cancelled ALL the shoes, and told the store they
would be back. I am holding my breath by
now thinking they might opt to cancel the tuxes and wear beach bum attire. I
was not too far from the truth on that…at least where the shoes were concerned.
My new almost son had walked down the street to a shoe store where he bought
black flip flops for all his groomsmen and himself. I tried to imagine seven
young men in tuxes and flip flops. I
knew that I could decide to have a hissy fit, or I could decide to be happy and
go with the flow. Then I remembered
Charlotte’s red wedding shoes. I felt a huge relief flow over me. There would be a wedding. Amazingly and
thankfully, the father of the bride was not expected to wear flip flops. My
life as I knew it would continue.
Hermione and Simon will wed in a couple of months. We are on the final approach now.
This is a true story.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
©Corinne H. Mustafa
3/1/10
3/1/10
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